Conquering anxiety: Leaky Black finds peace on and off the court

Leaky Black couldn’t feel his arms or make a shot.

The highly recruited four-star forward was in a basketball workout at UNC his freshman year, but he wasn’t playing like himself. His arms were numb except for a slight tingling. Never known as a prolific scorer, the lock-down defender was consistently missing his shots. They weren’t even close.

At first, he thought his arms were just sore from his workout in the weight room, but then he experienced the lack of feeling again at the next practice — and the one after that.

Black is introverted, soft-spoken and selfless almost to a fault. He was determined to contribute to the team, so he ignored the numbness. For some unknown reason, the soreness was worse around certain coaches, so he avoided working out with them.

The numbness would disappear for a while and then creep back into his arms at the most inconvenient times, including during one of the first workouts after Hubert Davis was named head coach.

“I didn’t know how to explain it,” Black said. “I knew something was wrong.”

What Black was experiencing was a symptom of anxiety, but he wouldn’t come to understand that until nearly three years later.

Black is not alone. According to the American College of Sports Medicine, approximately 30% of women and 25% of men who are student athletes report having anxiety, defined as recurring feelings of excessive nervousness, worry or fear that impacts one’s ability to function on a daily basis. Yet only 10% of college athletes with mental health conditions seek out professional help.

Black is part of the 10%, and his openness provides hope for the future of mental health care in athletics.

Leaky, born Rechon Malik Black, is a native of Concord, North Carolina, where he grew up the youngest of three children. He speaks to his two older sisters Mariah and Jada daily.

Black was given the nickname Leaky by his grandmother as a young child because of his middle name. He knew this to be his name before he even realized his real name was Rechon.

College coaches started reaching out to Black in eighth grade, and by ninth grade, he was receiving offers. Black decided on UNC almost immediately.

Black’s basketball future was decided, but his family dynamic was disrupted when his parents separated during his junior year. Black was nearly 600 miles away honing his basketball skills at the strictly-run preparatory school Montverde Academy.

“That might have been the toughest year of my life,” Black said. “That situation with my mom and dad happened in the middle of me being down there miserable. I was away from home and couldn’t be with my family. My family is my only circle, so it was heartbreaking.”

Black came to UNC in 2018, just two years shy of being a part of the most recent Tar Heel national championship team. The beginning of Black’s college career was less than glamorous. He sprained his ankle as a freshman, and sophomore year, he returned to UNC without same-age teammates Nassir Little and Coby White, who left for the NBA.

The pandemic forced the sophomore to return home to Concord in 2020. It also gave him time to heal following surgery to repair the tendon below his left ankle bone. The surgery came after ongoing issues from his sprained ankle freshman year.

He moved back into his mom’s house alongside both of his sisters, his cousin Sydney, who Black said is basically his little sister, and his newborn nephew Maverick. Although he was devastated by the results of the previous season, in which UNC put up a 14-19 record, Black found a positive environment surrounded by family at home.

“Taking a step away from the game without actually taking a step away from the game because of COVID really helped me reevaluate everything,” Black said. “It got me closer to my family and that brought out that the reason why I’m trying to make it to the NBA is for them.”

When he returned to Chapel Hill, Black met UNC basketball alumni Jackie Manuel. Manuel was named the Director of Player and Team Development for the men’s basketball team in the 2021-22 season. Once a dominant Tar Heel defender himself, Manuel recognized the potential in Black before he ever met him and knew he could help him with his physical skills. What he didn’t yet know is that he could help him emotionally.

Manuel first recognized Black’s anxiety when Black confessed that when certain people come around, particularly his dad, his body tenses up and he gets nervous. His dad, Shawn, whom Black calls “a hell of a player,” is the reason Black began playing basketball. The two had a complicated relationship after Black’s parents’ separation, and Black was desperate to prove to his dad and to the country how good of a player he truly was.

“When you get to college, you have to have a perfect game in order for everyone to like you,” Black said. “That’s what I was stuck on.”

Manuel, a former UNC national champion, acknowledged that he has had his fair share of mental health struggles. He didn’t leave his house for two weeks after being cut by the Boston Celtics during training camp. When Manuel opened up about his similar experiences, it was like Black was looking in a mirror.

“There’s thousands of guys like us that are going through the same thing,” Manuel said. “They just haven’t voiced it or maybe don’t recognize it.”

Star gymnast Simone Biles, four-time grand slam winner Naomi Osaka, two-time NBA MVP Giannis Antetokounmpo and Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps are all athletes who struggle with mental health. Although they have been open about their experiences, the discussion about mental health in athletics is a relatively new one, particularly for male athletes.

An NCAA study found 30% of surveyed athletes feeling extremely overwhelmed, with nearly 25% feeling mentally exhausted. UNC has an Athletics Mental Health & Performance Psychology Program to aid those struggling with these feelings. However, hearing a college athlete speak openly about their mental health is almost unheard of.

The pressure in Black’s life was overwhelming when he first opened up to Manuel. He admits that he was his own biggest critic and was worried about trying to please everyone. But, to Manuel, none of that mattered.

“The only thing I want you to do is enjoy your experience,” Manuel told Black. “Enjoy your moment, because it goes by really fast. I don’t care if you ever make baskets. I don’t care if you don’t become defensive player of the year. I don’t care anything about what you’re doing on this basketball court. Because at the end of the day, what’s important to me is you having a good experience and that you enjoy what you’re doing.”

When he was in college, Manuel thought he would play basketball until he was 40. In reality, his basketball career ended five years after his graduation from UNC when he realized he didn’t love the sport like he once did. He doesn’t want Black to burn out the same way.

In an attempt to help Black simplify his life and know he doesn’t have to live up to certain expectations, Manuel suggested techniques to help the player work through his mental struggles.

“It’s a never-ending process,” Manuel said about working through mental health problems. “It’s finding exercises and mental strategies that work for you, because everybody’s different.”

For Black, the strategies that work are praying, meditating and practicing breathing techniques, as well as meeting with a therapist. Black feels grateful for his therapist, but says that in terms of managing his mental health, Manuel is “his guy.”

Manuel scheduled Black for 7 a.m. shooting workouts after learning of his anxiety. While Black was initially hesitant to work out that early, he and Manuel soon established a routine of sitting on the empty court and talking for an hour or more after each shooting session.

These intimate talks between Black and Manuel came to include prayers before and after every personal workout, practice and game. Even in the chaos that ensued before a basketball matchup at the Dean Dome, the two would find time to unite in prayer to ease their anxieties.

Manuel would speak from the heart, and Black would soak up the message as he prepared to hit the court.

With a newfound sense of acceptance of his anxiety and ways of coping, Black thrived in UNC’s 2022 March Madness run. In the first round of the NCAA tournament, his defensive performance held Marquette’s Justin Lewis, now with the Chicago Bulls, to just 2-of-15. The next game, a shocking upset win over No. 1 Baylor, saw Black guarding Matthew Mayer so closely that Mayer didn’t attempt a shot for nearly nine minutes. Black held his own against another future NBA player, A.J Griffin, who is now with the Atlanta Hawks, in the Final Four win over rival Duke. Griffin recorded only six points and was 1-of-7 in shooting.

Never a hot shooter, Black also surprised fans with his improved offense in the NCAA tournament. In his dominant defensive performances against Marquette and Baylor, Black contributed offensively as well. He shot 50% against Marquette and 66.7% against Baylor for four points in each game and eight and six assists respectively. The numbness he once experienced in his arms that prevented him from making his shots was a distant memory.

The March Madness run that brought the team to the national title game, combined with his work with Manuel, aided Black in finding peace in his career and time as a Tar Heel. After every March Madness game last season, Black would burst into tears and go embrace his family in the stands, overwhelmed by feelings of triumph.

“I’m very happy with the career I’ve had; I believe that everything happens for a reason,” Black said. “God gives his toughest battles to his toughest soldiers.”

Black’s vulnerability and devotion to bettering himself have had an impact on the entire UNC team. Once he opened up about his anxiety, several teammates decided that they also wanted to work with a sports psychologist. Only 10% of college athletes who are battling mental health issues go to a mental health professional, but because of Black, the Tar Heels are a part of that 10%.

Black’s time as a Tar Heel came to an end in March, but his mental health journey will never be over. He is currently in Dallas training for the NBA Draft and is away from Manuel for the first time since they met. Yet, because of their connection and determination to help each other, the two men aren’t truly apart. On Black’s first day of NBA Draft training, Manuel called him before his morning workout so the two could pray together.

“I’m away from Jackie, but I’m not really away,” Black said. “I talk to him every day.”

Manuel made a life-changing impact on Black’s mental health journey so that Black wouldn’t have to struggle alone in the way that he once did. As discussions about mental health increase, Black’s openness will make a difference in other peoples’ lives.

“There’s a reason you’re going through this and there’s a purpose for it,” Manuel told Black. “There’s gonna be some little kid or some young person that hears your story and looks up to you. He’s gonna see you one day, then you’re gonna be able to pour into him, and you guys are gonna be able to help each other.”

Eventually, Black will be able to pour into another individual in the way that Manuel has poured into him. For now, he is appreciating his perseverance.

“I really felt myself overcome the feeling of a brick wall in front of me and not being able to get through it and not being able to reach my goals,” Black said. “Every day, I’m super proud of myself.”

TAGS: ATHLETE, BASKETBALL, CHAPEL HILL, FEATURE, MENTAL HEALTH, STUDENT, UNC